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RULES FOR COOKING ALONE

Two Parts: First mostly not serious. Real Rules Second

PART ONE
1. Never cook on a stove which is moving. But, according to estimates, we are traveling on the earth's surface at a speed of 1670 km per hour at the equator. If you are somewhere else, relax - you are not going that fast. But when you combine that with the speed of the earth around the sun 30 km/sec - it's enough to give you indigestion. We won't even think about the speed of the solar system through the galaxy. And yet everyone is cooking. It would seem that the rule dates back to the days of the flat earth theory. Of course, it you are in the middle of an earth quake or a hurricane, or twister which has picked the house up, the advice would appear to be sound. source details on speeds

2. Do not tie your food to a lightning rod to get it cooked. At the rate of lightning strikes, you may not eat for quite a long time, and then again you may be able to eat burnt-whatever one second from now. It's a matter of luck and season.

3. I'm sort of serious about this one. Do not pour water on hot oil if you are cooking in sparce clothing. On second thought, don't pour water on hot oil, period. This includes dumping freshly washed vegetables or other things into the hot pan.

4. Do not upset the cook unless you have an official taster. And then, do not upset the official taster.

5. And this one is really serious. Do not use your water tap (heater) to get water hot enough for  instant coffee, or put your child into a bath without checking the water first.  "It only takes one second to get a serious third degree burn from water that is 156 degrees Fahrenheit. If instant coffee granules melt in your tap water, it's set too hot and could cause serious burns to you or someone in your family." Read source and safety tips especially for your children and the elderly"  source
According to data from the National Safe Kids Campaign, 4000-5,000 children are scalded each year, most often in bathtubs.  The average bathtub scald burn covers 12% of the body surface with a full thickness third degree burn.   Statistics from the National Safe Kids Campaign indicate that the scald burn sources were 95% residential settings, 54% in apartment house, and 46% in single family homes" source

6. Prolong the happy hour if more guests arrive than you have dishes and silverware. Or, have a lot of toasts before the meal, and then serve buffet style. Or, feed the kids first.

7. Never show the guest what the meal should have looked like according to the picture on the label.

8. Never tell your guests what the dish is. Let them guess.


PART TWO
NOW FOR THE REAL RULES

After I have done it for over a year, I can authoritatively say that it is really no fun. It is best to be cooking for someone other than yourself. The incentive is just not there unless you really love to cook. Then, my hat is off to you.

Seldom have I actually gone to the store with something in mind. Oh, I've made a list, but it is always back home, and as hard as I might try to remember what was on it, I cannot. This brings up rule number one.

Do not make lists. Waste of paper and organizational time and then wasted brain power attempting to remember it. You don't have what you need to prepare the meal? Make do with what you have. Which is our second rule.

Making do. Some of my most surprising and, by the way, delicious dishes are "making do" dishes. These are the product without the frills, without the quality, without "the way mother used to make it" but it still tastes good. Which brings us to our next rule.

Flexibility. The ability to do something totally different, unheard of. If you can get your mouth around something when thinking about it, then it's possible and may even be quite palatable - meaning that you can eat it without throwing up. And if it has some nutritional value, then you are that much ahead of the game, and can actually survive until the next meal which is what it's all about anyway.
Which leads us to our next point.

Alternatives. This means that it would be much nicer if we had milk when the 'recipe' calls for it, but we don't so we rely on our backup - alternatives. And it is alternatives which most concern me here for the single cook.  You are just not always going to have the ingredients you need or even want. But, for everything there is an alternative. And if you stock up on these alternatives than you will always be in good shape. There are several kinds of alternatives.
Those that are relatively nonperishable meaning that they can sit on the shelf virtually forever, or refrigerated and still viable months later, or when frozen, come out ready to be used even a year later. Let's look at some examples:
        milk - powdered creamer
        butter - margarine
        olive oil - all sorts of different plant oils
        apple cider vinegar - white vinegar
        any particular spice - the whole range of spices available.
        sugar - honey, jams, sweet chocolate, maple syrup        
If you go through the store and buy one of a number of different things which you think you would never use but which are basically nonperishable, then you will always have something to fall back on because it will be there, in the back somewhere, when you run out of everything else. And on those spices? Find a list of what spices go with what, print it out , and tape it to the wall, or go ahead and stand there and read all the labels each time.

Taste. This is a very individual thing, but extremely important. If it just does not appeal to you,. then you are not going to want to cook it, much less eat it. Which means that faced with that, you are either not going to eat what you need, or you are going to go out and most likely not eat what you need but what is available at the price you are willing to pay on the spur of the moment, or what your brain says you haven't had in a long while - like pizza, a hamburger, etc. all of which are woefully lacking in the nutrition department. 

But taste has another side to it and that is enjoyment. The principal rule here when cooking for yourself is enjoyment. When you are cooking for someone else, it is sometimes possible to get enjoyment knowing that someone else is happy with the meal, or you are giving them what they need, happy or not. But when its you, it should be axiomatic that you must enjoy your meals. They must be a major part of your living, no matter how full your life is, because you are doing this one alone - and you owe it to yourself, your own self esteem, your concept of life. But the real reason is so you will do it again, and not just eat out of a can or stop for a Mac.
Which brings me to the next rule.

Sit down. When eating, sit. Our tendency when alone, is to eat while doing something else, or to eat while rushing out the door, or to eat where there is the least clean up - over the sink. I don't care what you arre doing. Concentrate on the meal.  Remember, even in the best of circumstances, the meal takes very little time to consume,no matter how long it took to prepare it - which of course is another point. But give your body and mind the full value of the meal experience. This is not just enjoyment, but also relaxation. Allow the body to at least start to digest whatever was just served before being forced into all types of running because you are late, and other movements, plus the gastric juices attendant on the next worry in your life. Relax. Sit and enjoy these few moments.

Time to prepare. This takes planning. Not the get out the paper and sharpen the pencils type, but the concept of what type of preparation are we talking about here.  If you are a planner, than starting something soaking the night before may be right up your alley and you can do all sorts of things that the rest of us would never think of doing. Plus you get to have all of the right consistencies, the right tastes, the right softness, the lack of acidity, etc which the rest of us put up with on a regular basis.  But if you are not a planner, than you want things that will not taste terrible if you take it from its natural state, throw it in the pot and eat it 15 minutes or less later.  And here, there are a number of parameters to keep in mind. Time to prepare, time to cook, time to drain, peel, mash after you cook, or time to prepare something else to go with it which it cannot abide being without. For instance, sweet potatoes cook faster than white potatoes. Squash cooks faster than cabbage. Eggs are a whole protein which are easier and faster to cook than almost any other protein. Rice and particularly wild rice take a lot longer to cook than just about anything else. Lentils need to be pre-soaked (actually not true - I just put them into boiling water for 4 minutes, pour it through a strainer with fresh boiling water, and put back into the pan with boiling water to continue cooking). If you are impatient with the cooking business, you want to take all of this into considerations.

Nutrition.  This is the main point of it all anyway. So the more you know about this, the better in the long run. For most of us, we can run on empty for a while since our previous living conditions were better and we had someone else looking out for our well being. But this period has its expiration date, and it is sooner than you think. The body starts to feel the lack and if allowed to go for too long, there are consequences. Therefore it is imperative that you find out what the basics are in terms of nutrition and know just what is possible to cook and what tastes good, but has what you really need for the long haul. You may think that you know, that you remember, but believe me, you do not, and it is basically like starting life all over again.  There are all these sayings around "An apple a day keeps the doctor away", A smoothie is a complete breakfast, drink 6-8 cups of water a day to stay healthy". But they do not cover the waterfront and in some cases, are not even true.
One of the best determiners of what you are lacking in vitamins and minerals given your current eating habits is a short questionnaire which is computed on line at source The World's Healthiest foods, Or look at a week of menus which will give you everything you need.  source The World's Healthiest - Feeling Great Menu (click on the name of the dish to see how to prepare it). Most of these dishes you just will not cook for yourself but the page will give you an idea of what types of vitamins and minerals a healthy existence needs.

And then there are those special considerations for different conditions of the life experience - your age, whether or not you are pregnant or breast feeding, whether or not you have a medical condition which requires certain emphasis or de-emphasis in specific vitamins/minerals/foods, problems with weight, energy, special demands due to sports or job requirements, allergies, etc.

Now that you have taken care of the preparation and eating part, you are faced with...
Clean up. When living or eating alone, the tendency is to leave it until later. To be faced with a kitchen where all of the pots are in use or not clean, where plates, bowls, silverware are not ready for reuse, is very disheartening, and can make the preparation and even the eating experience somewhat of a chore. Remember, the freshly used pan, eaten off of plate, etc. are much easier to clean before time has taken its toll (drying process, mold setting in, other denizens of your living space have had a party). Spend the extra few moments to clean up and your preparation experience next time will be so much easier. At least put water into the pan to let it soak, and but the lid on so nobody drowns. They may be insects, but they're just trying to survive.

Add-ons or frills. Always have something which might be considered an add-on or frill to any meal. Many times it is the add-on, having little or no real nutritional value, which makes the necessary meal material palatable. This includes things like various bottled sauces, cheeses, sprinkles, paprika, spicy condiments, and dessert. You may think that you can go without dessert but you can't. It doesn't have to be sweet but it must be in the category of dessert in your mind, otherwise you will start to feel empty, suddenly deprived, and the zing has gone out of life. From kids, one of the things you hear the most is, "what's for dessert?". Remember those times and give yourself a break.

But, after all is said and done, there is ONLY ONE RULE. Do not eat out too often. True, it's nice to see how it's done professionally. But, the bottom line out there is profit, while yours should be your health and welfare. So spend that extra time once in a while adding a little bit more knowledge about the most important aspect of your life.
 

© copyright 2008 J. Morgan Thomas All rights reserved

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