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10 Things You Should Never
Do In The Kitchen

1. Never cook with your eyes closed unless you have had a lot of practice. No, I take that back. Never do it. I did it this morning very early and I wasn't awake yet. You miss all of the emotion of seeing what you make in the unfolding process, as well as your failures crumble before your very eyes. Cooking is an emotional experience. Otherwise, why bother - there are a lot of cans, jars, paper bags around just waiting to be opened.

2. Cooking should never be bounded by four walls - it is the open vista as far as you can see in front of you as you let your mind wander. Never always know what you are going to cook. Cuts off all possibility of something new and interesting emerging.

3. When you are in a hurry, always stop and clean up what just spilled on the floor. Otherwise, you will have to clean the kitchen, the hallway, the bedroom, the study...

4. Never talk on the phone as you cook. You need all of your attention on what you are doing. Remember you are playing with fire, hot stuff, knives, steam, stuff that rolls, slides, breaks, cracks, squashes, falls - you get the picture.

5. Never leave everything in the sink to be washed before you start cooking the next meal. Kills all of the creative juices.

6. Always be aware that the kitchen is not only your favorite place. There are other creatures in the world who think that this is their heaven on earth. You may not want them there but be considerate. They are only trying to live and have a full life like you. Instead of trying to get rid of them, keep it clean and they will decide on their own to go to the "restaurant" next door. At least give them an option.

7. If you don't throw out the garbage every time you go into the kitchen, put all your eatable garbage in the refrigerator. You heard me. Covered of course. I use empty ice cream cartons. And be sure to do a clean sweep of all those every so often. It really does cut down on the under population when they say to themselves - Oh no, not that into the frig also!

8. Never think that you can pick up everything with one hand, touch everything without protection, taste anything because it is just a little of the hot stuff, and just throw spices, and the contents of cans or bottles into the mix straight from the container (most containers are not measuring instruments - they are storage units).

9. Never tell everyone what you are going to cook unless you really know what you are doing (but even then there are mistakes). Surprise them and maybe even yourself. Also you won't have to make excuses for what did not turn out the way it should have.

10. Don't press me. I'm working on it.

copyright 2008 J. Morgan Thomas All rights reserved

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